08 February 2004

forks in the grass

sometimes it feels like a conspiracy to take me down before i uncover some big truth, which i quite often feel on a verge of, maniacally. sometimes it feels like a lesson, a vicious push to the direction i need to take to uncover this truth, the path i quite clearly envision but refuse to take.

neither is fair if true; neither, however, has to be anything outside of maniacal delusions of deeply wounded mind. there is no need to assign any mystical importance to something as trivial as sudden death of a young, physically healthy genius girl. happens all the time, isn’t it? isn't worth even a footnote in a local newspaper.

problem is, heart does not follow logic. fortunately, of course; unless it’s a wounded heart. wounded but refusing to die, like a lark with one wing broken, faintly waving another one in a futile attempt to take off. problem is, am not manic, at all. mad, but hardly delusional.

would somebody please deliver coup de grace already?