27 July 2003

sorry

i love you, and i always will
you are best friend i could have
but my hearth is broken
into little sharp pieces
and i will always be longing
for my little china girl
who is now dead
and buried under a willow tree
and left me with a broken heart
and tears in my eyes
how pathetic and unmanly
i wish things were different
but please understand
it was preordained in heaven
it was never up to us
i refused to be a god once
and now i pay the price
it was worth it
but my life is not worth living now
mere survival of unfit
i am sorry and sad
if i had anything to give you
i would
but all i am is an empty shell
under dark skies
and all i have is money for a violin
and a few book recommendations
and a penis that craves another mouth
and cannot help it
please be happy without me
if you can
and i pray to god(s) whom i hate
that you will
i kiss your shoulder
and wish you the best
and leave to cry in emptiness of my bed
holding the pillow
as if it was her
in my arms
my arms